Cranky Pants

I don't know what happened to me. I used to be a friendly, patient, tolerant person. At least so I thought. Yeah, not so much anymore. I've turned into a cranky, don't-touch-me!, old lady. I am frighteningly close to becoming a crazy cat lady hermit. How did this happen?

I think it started when I worked as a bartender, and I routinely saw the worst in people. Alcohol does really ugly things to our personalities, even when we think we're the most charming thing since Cary Grant. Trust me, from a bartenders perspective (a sober one that is), you are not charming. You are a slobbering, babbling child. And after a while, the only way to cope with these children is to join them in their drunken bubble. Which is what I did. Then I snapped out of it and got the hell out of that damn bubble. Now, I admit, it was the most fun job I ever had, and I met some fantastic people, made some lifelong friends, but it did help to tarnish my previously naive shiny perception of people. Part of it might just be growing older and less tolerant of irritating people, but wherever it came from isn't so much the point now. I gotta figure out how to get up with people again.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately because of my travel. I think I have disproportionate reactions to the annoying habits of complete strangers. Take last night for example; I was sitting at the gate in the Austin airport waiting for my plane to board, and a few seats down from me there was a gentleman who was breathing too loud. He did not appear to be sick, disabled, or obese, or anything like that, he just made too much noise when he breathed. But it was so annoying to me that I actually got up and moved to another seat. It wasn't like he was snoring loud or doing that really-annoying-snot-clearing-in-the-back-of-the-throat thing. He was just breathing for fucks sake!

I also get squirrelly on the plane when my seat mate's elbow touches me. And when someone stands too close behind me in line. Or when on the moving sidewalk, people who are clearly capable of walking, stand and don't walk. Is walking really that exhausting!? It's a moving sideWALK people! Shit! Move the fuck out of my goddamn way!

See what I mean? I'm a total Miss Cranky Pants.

Maybe it's a sign that I need a break from all this traveling and being around people. Maybe I should go stay at one of those monk retreats for awhile. Maybe I just need a vacation from airports and hotels.

Or maybe I should just get the fuck over myself and remember that I am not perfect either, and try to be more like Jesus or Buddha. It's so hard though! People are such a pain in the ass.

I just noticed that I used "fuck" and "Jesus" and "Buddha" in the same sentence, so in one fell swoop, I probably managed to offend most everyone, plus I am SO going to hell.

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Anyway, thought I'd just get that off my chest. In the meantime, to help me deal with my crankypants mood, I'm going on a seven mile run today as a kick in the pants, since I've hit a bit of a running plateau. I've gotten into a kind of comfortable groove of running four milers a few times a week, with a six miler as my long run. I haven't gone beyond six miles in part cause I'm skeered, but also because I took the half marathon off the schedule for Thanksgiving, and I haven't actually decided on a replacement, so I'm not actively training for one right now. I was considering Austin, but my schedule isn't looking good for that race. I may do one in May/June instead, and maybe I can convince my siblings and stepmom to run one with me. I know my sister will be itchin to work off the whole two pounds of her bebeh weight. And maybe Erin and Katy will be ready by next year to run that distance...(whatchoo think missies? :)

No major bike plans for the weekend. I opted out of a bike camping trip this weekend with ECT because they're goin all primitive and shit to the hot springs (damn!), since I'm more of a girly kinda camper. But I will probably go for a ride by myself tomorrow.

And as far as eatin news, I had some good eats in Austin this week, including two cupcakes (i totally get the craze now), but no BBQ or Tex-Mex. I know, it's a crime, but it just didn't work out this time.

And now that I'm back in my hood, I am anxious after my run to hit a newly opened bagel shop nearby that apparently makes real New York bagels (like boiled, ya know). Like BBQ, it is very dificult to find good bagels here in Portland, so I can't wait to find out if these are the bagels I've been missing. Hopefully it won't be necessary after all to open up my bagel joint, which I was planning to call Shiksas Bagels, but I'll let you know after I try one of theirs...